Welcome to a new year and the first Ask Mistress Susan letter! Women, please take note that the issue discussed this week is NOT uncommon. This could this be your heterosexual husband/boyfriend.
Susan, I have been married for 15 years, but I have one strange vice: I love to wear women’s panties. My wife does not know because I wear them when she travels for her job. I have been wearing panties for many years; I find them exciting and comfortable. However, I know I should not by normal social standards. Any suggestions?~ B
Dear B,
The first rule of any flourishing relationship is COMMUNICATION. I have never seen a flourishing relationship that didn’t follow this rule. Anytime I get a reader who states “my wife does not know,” I get concerned. When issues are kept hidden from spouses, problems can eventually occur, especially regarding trust. You find panties “exciting and comfortable” the same way I find wearing a man’s boxers “exciting and comfortable.” The ONLY difference is “normal social standards” state that it is okay for a wife/girlfriend to want to wear her man’s boxers, t-shirts, or shirts around the house, but it is somehow unmanly or girly if a husband/boyfriend wants to wear his girl’s panties.
B, you are NOT alone. In my line of work, I have come across many, many heterosexual men, including manly men, who love wearing women’s panties for the same reasons that you do. It is NOT as rare as people think; men just don’t talk about it. For some men, it is something kinky to do that pleases them and spices up their sex life.
However, I do see your reluctance to tell your wife. It’s hard to say, “Honey, I want to wear your red bikini panties to work tomorrow. Okay?’ Not every woman is okay with her man wearing lingerie. Mistress Susan has a very healthy, positive attitude towards sex, so I don’t have a problem with my man wearing panties. However, I would question him about whether he is wearing them because he is interested in a transgender lifestyle or is he simply wearing them for reasons discussed earlier in this response. Even though I am very open-minded, I and the majority of women would NOT be interested in being in a relationship with a man interested in a transgender lifestyle.
B, you know your wife. If you think that she would freak out about you wearing lingerie, you need to plan your approach carefully and be prepared for the consequences. The flip side is she may surprise you and be open to your secret. I am a firm believer in never keeping secrets (picture Babyface singing this to you) when that secret affects the other person. As I said in my opening, the first rule of any flourishing relationship is COMMUNICATION.
Whipping Luxury,
Mistress Susan
Mistress Susan is a Certified Personal Trainer and Sex Artist. Email your sex-related questions, tips, or comments to askmistresssusan@gmail.com. Put “Ask Mistress Susan” on the subject line.